News & Impact

Mitch P.’s demanding job requires long hours and significant travel. Though mild-mannered and congenial during the day, “I undergo a huge transformation once I walk through the door at night,” he admits. “I turn into this big grouch. I turn away from my 2-year-old’s hugs, and I snap when my 4-year-old starts jumping up and down and squealing. I know they’re excited to see me, but sometimes I feel like a gay Archie Bunker.

 “Stress and fatigue are common causes of anger in many—if not most—parents,” says Rebecca Wood, LCSW, Coordinator of Parents Place in Marin County, where Mitch came for some counseling and consultation sessions upon the suggestion of his stay-at-home spouse, Jonathan. “Who wouldn’t feel a little on edge if you had a hard day at work and a bumper-to-bumper ride home and the first thing you encountered when you got there was a high-pitched wail in the form of your kids? The problem isn’t your crankiness—it’s how to avoid letting it spill into your children’s lives.”

At Parents Place, Mitch talked through his feelings and saw how his reactions mirrored his parents’. “That was freaky, at first,” he says, “because I’d always thought I was making a conscious effort to do things differently. But after the initial shock wore off, I saw why I did what I did—and how I could change certain behaviors. There’s nothing more important in my life than my family. Learning how to cope better with my stress and fatigue is huge. When Jonathan and I decided to become fathers, we knew we were making the most significant decision in our lives. Taking the steps to change my behavior could be the second-most significant.”